Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

Title: Fifty Shades of Grey
Author: E.L. James
Genre: Erotic Romance
Publisher: Vintage (April 3, 2012)
Available: $9.57 at Amazon (and the e-book is $9.99!)
Rating: 2.5 stars
Rater: Lauri

From the publisher:

When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

What I liked: I don’t ordinarily read erotica, so let me preface my review with that disclaimer. That said, I am happy to report that the sex acts in this book weren’t retold so explicitly that I had to skip those parts. The sex is, however, central to the story’s progression, and perhaps the author attempts to use it to symbolize something bigger that two grunting bodies. (I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt here.)

What I didn’t like: A lot. Most everything, in fact. I read this book because it’s so popular right now, and while I knew it was erotica, there is a lot of erotica out there, and so I expected something – grand. Above the crowd. Or at least really good.

I didn’t find it.

Someone recently said of this book that it’s like a teenage fantasy, and I think that nails it. Christian (Grey) is like 28 and a billion-billion-billionare? Really? With a really big penis? And he wants to dominate Ana's every move, in the bedroom and out?

And she’s a 22-year old, super-super naïve virgin who swoons at his feet every time he even looks her way?

Oh – come on! Really? Really?! 

The writing isn’t horrendous. The sentences don’t all start with “She” and “He.” But the writing skill skids to a halt right there. The plot is ridiculously shallow. And every other sentence describes how Ana is biting her lip, doubting her self worth, and just generally debasing herself over and over and over and over and over and over and over. It’s truly abysmal writing, and I sure wish I could get my ten bucks back.

In sum: Yeah; the publisher was right. This story will stay with me forever. But then, so does taste aversion after a good food poisoning.

If, like me, you just have to see what all the fuss is about, borrow the book from someone. For the love of God - don’t buy it.

The Watchmaker's Lady by Heather Massey

Title: The Watchmaker's Lady
Author: Heather Massey
Genre: Clockpunk/Science Fiction/Erotic/Romance
Publisher: Red Sage Publishing
Available: $3.11 from Amazon.com
Rating: 4.25 stars
Rater: Pippa











PLOT SUMMARY:

Matthew Goddard is a lonely watchmaker in 1840, New England. One fateful day, he discovers the lover of his dreams in a dusty corner of the local general store--Isabel, a bisque porcelain mannequin head with mesmerizing, smoky blue eyes. When Matthew invites her to come live with him, she eagerly "accepts."

The couple embarks on a lust-filled affair, one fueled by Matthew's wild imagination. In order to provide Isabel with a brass body and pretty clothes, he begins a secret side business selling clockwork sex toys to his wealthy female customers.

Danger, however, threatens their idyllic romance when a disgruntled customer exposes Matthew's forbidden business to the townspeople. Despite the growing menace, Matthew will stop at nothing in order to save his soul mate--and protect their love.

Reader Alert!

Matthew Goddard's lover Isabel may be a clockwork automaton, but that doesn't prevent them from enjoying forbidden, uninhibited sex at every opportunity.

THE GOOD:
While on the surface this may seem another erotica story, underneath it lies a sweet and timeless romance where two soul mates manage to meet, and even death holds no barrier. The beautiful detailing in the writing perfectly reflects the time that it's set in. At first I though Matthew a sweet but deluded man, driven into a realm of illusion by his loneliness. But as the story unfolds you begin to wonder if it really is all in his head or whether there is life in his clockwork lady. The end has a surprising twist. I don't normally read erotica, but here it really underlines the repressed society in which Matthew lives and works, and the lengths that some people will go to in order to release their supressed sexual tensions in a time where the merest hint of impropriety is frowned upon. Despite the quirk in his nature, I felt very drawn and sympathetic to the character of Matthew.

THE BAD:
The sex and language are very explicit, although that probably won't be a 'bad' for fans of erotica. Some might find the abrupt shift of setting in the final chapter a little jarring.

IN SUM:
For fans of erotica, this will probably satisfy your craving, and with a new twist on the genre to keep it fresh. Providing you aren't easily offended, this is a touching love story with a real period feel and some interesting quirks. Very hot.

ADDITIONAL:
Please note - Critique de Book DOES NOT accept requests to review erotic romance or erotica. This is a book that I won, read and reviewed for my own satisfaction, and not representative of the genres generally accepted by the review site.